Problem #1: Remembering important people to invite. This is easier said than done, which might be obvious to all of you brilliant readers but was not obvious to little ol' me. I began by writing down my family members and friends names, his family and his friends, our mutual friends, and the professionals who would be attending. I mostly did this from my memory, which is poor at best. I think there is something wrong with the part of my brain that is supposed to remember things, because I can't remember anything. Ironically, I used to know what part of the brain did that...but now I can't remember!
Problem #2: Of the people we managed to remember, deciding who gets an invite. We have a great group of friends and feel really blessed. However, as social relationships tend to be, some of our ties within this group of friends are stronger than others. There might be some periphery people on the outskirts of this group, maybe folks we see at large cookouts or parties, but not necessarily people we would hang out with one on one. So that's kind of one of the unofficial rules we have made, I guess. Maybe you're a cool person, and we like you, and we see you once a month or so at the bar/gym/party/sporting event, but if we don't have a meaningful relationship where we hang out individually OR if we are always the ones to initiate, you aren't getting an invite. Don't feel bad...it just means you don't have to get us a gift. You're welcome.
Problem #3: Responding to someone who asks if they are getting an invitation. Surprisingly enough, not just etiquette-ignorant people do this! I always thought the folks who invited themselves were, like, twenty year old cousins who just wanted free booze, or your friend's brand new hoochey girlfriend who wants everyone to know "We're next!" But nope, perfectly respectable adults with advanced degrees ask this question. And while we should have employed Nancy Regan's brief but effective strategy, we may have just smiled with a slightly stunned look and mumbled something that possibly could have been interpreted as a "yes" but actually meant "We'll see."
These people might be added to the B List, which means one of two things. It might mean we like you but you are a new friend and/or because of life changes, we aren't sure we will still be friends in a few months. Or, it means we feel guilty nixing you completely, so we are going to put you on the B List in case we have room for you at a later point in time. If you think you might be in this situation, don't even worry about it and please...don't call us, we'll call you...maybe.
Problem #5: Children. Ugh. Don't even get me started. We have yet to reach an agreement on this, but I am anti-children. I mean, anti-children at our wedding, not in general, obviously.
Right now our guest list is at 167, and we are not quite done yet. That is more than I would like, but what can we do? No really, I'm asking, what can we do?