Thursday, August 25, 2011

Magic's Top Ten Magical Tips to Stress Free Invitations

(This is a Harry Potter reference laden post. Just thought I'd warn you, in case that's not your thing.)

10. Ask your house elf to do the invitations. House elves are super competent and love to be helpful. I’m not insinuating you should get a slave to do it, though. Everyone knows you’re supposed to pay your house elves nowadays, duh.

Image via Wizarding Life

9. Use those magical office assistants that Professor Umbridge had assembling that Anti Muggle Propaganda. They were super efficient and would probably prefer working for you anyways.

8. Use the Hogwarts owls instead of collecting addresses and using stamps. They are free for any student to use, so you’re either gonna have to get admitted to Hogwarts or use your invisibility cloak and the Marauder’s Map to sneak in. But there are hundreds of owls there, so just give as many owls as you need the invitations and tell them who to find, and sit back and relax, knowing that delivery is secure.

7. When you run out of supplies, like twine or stamps, just use a summoning charm to get what you need. “Accio A4 envelopes!”

6. Get someone to teach you how Voldemort did that Dark Mark in the sky thing. Text all your family and friends to look in the sky at 10:00pm on Friday night, and cast the details of your wedding up there, with the last line saying “We will await your reply by owl or Patronus.”

5. When people don’t RSVP, just poke your head in their fireplace and ask them if they are coming or not.

Image via Cyborgmantis

4. Get the criminals in Azkaban to help out. They most likely did something super bad to be in there, but can do something more productive than just having their souls crushed by Dementors. There should be a rehabilitation program where they can contribute to society by measuring, cutting, folding, and assembling invitations.

3. Put all your eligible guests into categories: Mr. M's family, Miss M's family, Mr. M's friends, Miss M's friends, people we don't know but are somehow on our list anyway. Throw all the names into the Goblet of Fire and wait until the winner from each category flies out. Hooray! Now you only have five guests. See #8 to let the lucky winners know they are invited.

2. When you are halfway through the invitation process and have watched five Harry Potter movies, drank three bottles of wine, spent countless hours tying twine and sticking stamps, and have finally realized this whole thing was a huge mistake, grab a Time Turner, go back in time, and send an evite.

1. As soon as you get engaged, just go ahead and ask a Death Eater to perform the Cruciatus Curse on you. Remind yourself, “That’s what the entire invitation process will feel like.” Decide to just make an Unbreakable Vow with your partner that you will love them forever. See? Married already. Dunzo.


  1. So basically, magic is the answer! :)

    Um...I must not have paid very close attention to the Harry Potter movies, I only understand like 2 of these! Of course I think I've only seen maybe the first 4 of them, once they've come out on TV. These tips do sound pretty sweet though! I want my own slave elf!

  2. HAHA I love this. I particular loved just popping your head in the fire to ask if they are coming...

  3. Great Post! I want a house elf to study for me! Love you!