Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Men's Clothes Are, Like, Totally Whack

I just had one of the most bizarre experiences of my lifetime. I went to Men's Wearhouse with Mr. Magic to pick out a tux.

Ok, wait. Yes, we did the whole suit versus tux debate. I basically had no opinion, and just wanted to check it off my huge post-it note wall list. Many of the guys in our bridal party did not have black suits, and Mr. M thought it would be cheaper to rent tuxes than buy suits.  Maybe this isn't wholly true, with all the suit deals around, but since Yours Truly (you would have to hunt down the sales, I was fine with renting tuxes.

In my new, slightly reckless and increasingly impulsive "OMGwe'relessthan100daysawayjustpicksomethingandget'erdone" 
attitude, we headed to Men's Wearhouse to, well, "just pick something" and "get 'er done."

Image via Chick Tech

We walked in and were given a glossy binder to flip through, with images of model-y men in tuxes and various, mostly hideous, ties and vests. As Mr. Magic flipped through and eliminated or complimented the looks, I repeated "They all look the same" and wondered "When do I get some food?" I was hungry. When we started off this adventure, I wanted a nice, healthy the end, I wanted Mexican food.

Mr. Magic was not sure what he wanted in a tux, other than something black, so we asked the salesman for some advice. "Do you have a tux that looks like a suit?" "What's up with the vests - do you have to wear those?" "Why are the ties so short?" and finally, "What's the most popular choice?" He pointed to four tuxes on half mannequins stuck to the wall, so I then asked "What is the difference between these four tuxes on half mannequins stuck to the wall here?"

And I was informed that, really, the main difference is the number of buttons. "This jacket has one button, this one two, this one three. This one, on the other hand, has four buttons."

 Calvin Klein One Button Super 100s Peak Lapel / Image via Men's Wearhouse Build a Tux

Ralph Lauren Three Button Super 100s Notch Lapel tux / Image via Men's Wearhouse Build a Tux

I think my head exploded in confusion and just sheer ridiculousness at the thought that the main difference in tuxes is the number of buttons. I mean, I love pretty buttons but could really care less about buttons on a tux. Begin rant: "Are you serious? We are choosing solely on the number of buttons??? Where is the variety? Where are the options? Why is this taking so long and making my brain hurt if the number of buttons are our sole consideration?"

I then suggested Mr. Magic go try a few of them on, and I was given a look by the salesman that insinuated that I had just grown a couple more heads. You see, they don't actually have the tuxes there to be tried on. Well, they have one jacket in one size for some of the styles....

So I asked to see the vests and ties which are, of course, complementary but not totally matchy-matchy with each other. I also did not want to make the guys wear Sangria, the color of the bridesmaids' dresses, so we were going with something more neutral. But when he brought the ties and vests out, there was only a half of a vest.

"Do you have a full vest somewhere, so I can at least mock up an outfit?" Uh, no. They don't. I was told to go home and use their online tux builder. Which I did, begrudgingly.
Mr. Magic's Ralph Lauren Three Button (thank God!) Super 100s Notch Lapel tux...with dark grey vest and tie, courtesy of Men's Wearhouse Build a Tux
Mr. M's tux, sans jacket / image via Men's Wearhouse Build a Tux

Magic Groomsmen's tuxes / Image via Men's Wearhouse Build a Tux

So basically, we are choosing my future husband's wedding day outfit by looking through a catalog, deciding how many buttons we prefer, and gazing at small snippets of fabric. He won't try it on for the first time until a few days before the wedding. Is this normal? It seems completely whack to me.

Can you ladies imagine if this was how we chose our wedding dresses??? If we got to touch a small sample of fabric, and see a bit of detail of lace and tulle, and then see the entire dress on a model in a magazine? But no trying it on until a few days before the big day. How totally strange.

Also, what if there was only one style of dress, and your choice was between if you wanted strapless, scoop neck, halter, or one-shoulder...but everything else about the dress was the same. I mean, it's preposterous to even think about!

This tux buying process may, in fact, be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of.

Did you think buying tuxes was totally ridiculous? Did you take a stance like "Whatevs, just pick something already!"?

1 comment:

  1. Totally whack! That's why we just bought all our guys their suits, so we didn't have to worry about renting.

    Although I must say, since I worked at The Tux Shop in high school, it does make sense that they don't have much to try on, where would you store 15 sizes of all the different versions of jackets and pants? Especially because, like you said, buttons are the main difference!

    But I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything all works out, and everything comes in on time and in the correct sizes. I know when things didn't, we did everything we could to make it right, including once when I drove 2 towns over to pick up the correct vest from our warehouse for a groom, and delivered it to their rehearsal dinner!