Monday, June 13, 2011

The One Where I Fall Down a Flight of Stairs

Sooo, this past weekend I was chillin' with the Magic Fam in Wilmington, North Carolina, enjoying the beach, walking The Loop, and eating the best hot dogs ever at The Trolley Stop and also eating some shrimp (I was hungry).
 personal photo

Magic Mom, Mini Magic, Magic Bro [ yes, I have a brother!], myself, and Roxie Ann (the dog) all decided to go for a walk. Then things got hairy.

Mistake #1: I was holding Roxie Ann's leash as we walked down a few flights of stairs to the ground floor. I'm not trained in dog behavior. Recently, I was holding my new refurbished iPad and was asked to also hold four tiny dogs by their leashes. I grasped the leashes and they immediately got tangled up and started tripping over each other and choking and turning blue. I was more worried about my iPad. Just kidding! [I'm not really kidding.]

Mistake #2: Roxie Ann and Magic Mom just moved into a new apartment. It's super cute, but Roxie is still getting used to it. She also doesn't like strangers. Or men. And she especially doesn't like strange men. And guess what was on the stairs? A strange man. For real, he was strange - he had a peg leg and a bottle of booze. I am not making this up.

Can you see where this is going? Roxie bolted from the strange pirate man...the leash was let out all the way...and I just remember standing at the top of the stairs thinking "Should I try to run down the stairs or just try to jump to the bottom?"

No, I did not let go of the leash right away. Go back and read Mistake #1.

The good news is, by some miracle, Roxie was fine, I did not injure my face (because I'm pretty sure I was flying headfirst into the concrete sidewalk for awhile) and by an even greater miracle, I didn't break or sprain anything. I think. I might have a slightly sprained / bruised knee, as I landed on both knees and my hands, all of which are nice and scraped and bruised. See?

That's one of my knobby knees. The picture does not fully capture the awesome bruising, but you can see some of it on the left side there.

Anyway, I've been meaning to write this post for awhile - a post about accidents and bad things that might happen before or on my wedding day.

When I finally got engaged, I was super excited - and immediately a bit paranoid that either I or Mr. Magic was going to be involved in some type of awful accident before the wedding day. I mean, I had waited forever (forevah-evah) and it just did not seem like we were ever going to get married! I may or may not have had the thought "If zombies are gonna attack us or the Judgement Day is coming, just please let it happen after the wedding." What can I say, I have generalized anxiety disorder to the max, plus some crazy bride brain symptoms as well.

I'm also totally worried that something physically horrific will befall me on the wedding pink eye. Or a sty. One of those rare painful zits that occurs right inside your nostril, where it hurts like a bi-atch but also everyone in the free world can see it as clear as day. A wart on my hand. A freaking migraine...ugh, that would be the WORST. Or, an entire scraped up face complete with broken nose from falling down the stairs after Roxie Ann bolted from a pirate.

It could happen.

So now you know...I'm super crazy and anxious and vain, not good with dogs, prejudiced against pirates, and I love to eat.

Do you have irrational (or totally rational) fears about the wedding day?

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