North Carolina, Come On and Raise Up

Alternate Title: I got 99 Problems, But Getting Legally Married Ain’t One.

I’ve been kind of complainy lately. I whined about how too many people love us and are coming to our wedding. And about my rehearsal dressbeing too white and shiny. And those damn time consuming invitations that made me lose my mind.

But, on the eve of the day when Mr. Magic and I will go to the courthouse to get our marriage license, I realize that while I might have a lot of first-world problems, there is one problem I don’t have – and that’s getting legally married.

 

Image via Sodahead

North Carolina, I think, is an awesome state. I’ve lived here my entire life, and there is really no other place I’d rather be. We’ve got beautiful beaches, gorgeous mountains, all four seasons, and some nice, down home folks who like to eat barbeque and say things that sound nice but are actually insults, like “Bless her heart.”

 

But, recently, some elected officials have decided they should amend the state constitution to legally ban same sex marriage. This is ridiculously crazy and a waste of time and money because:

Same sex marriage is already not allowed in the state of North Carolina.

This amendment, should it pass (God forbid), will also ban:

•             Civil unions of all kind – even between, you know, opposite sex folks.

•             Domestic partnerships of all kind – gay or straight.

I know, y’all are scratching your heads right now! Me freaking too! So if same sex marriage is already not allowed (which, by the way, is balls in and of itself – yes, I said “balls”), why do these legislators want to amend the constitution and basically reduce everyone’s rights?

Because they are ignorant, money-spending haters who would rather tear people and communities down rather than build them up.

Bless their hearts.

Luckily, polls show that most North Carolinians are against this amendment. Now, most North Carolinians aren’t for same sex marriage...yet – we are a slow people down here in the South. They just don’t think it is OK to take people’s rights away. 

In case you can’t tell by now, I am a proud North Carolinian and I am also pro-marriage.

Quote by Liz Feldman / Image via Queeried

I’m a wedding blogger, I'm getting hitched myself in a little over two weeks, and I'm totally for marriage! I’ve got some peeps who’ve wedded recently, and some peeps planning to tie the knot soon. And I’ve got some peeps who are completely in love, perfect for each other, 100% committed and engaged but can’t actually get married because, for reasons I don't understand, it is illegal.

Image via Bratty's Ramblings 

Tomorrow, I am getting my 60$ cash, going to the courthouse with Mr. Magic, showing some proof of identification, and we’ll walk out with a marriage license. It will be a big day for us.

But I hope that in May 2012, NC will take a cue from Petey Pablo and will come on and raise up, vote NO on Amendment One, and begin to take steps to allowing big days of getting marriage license for all my same sex peeps.

You Like Us! You Really Like Us!

Alternate Title: There are a Boatload of People Coming to Our Wedding.

Alternate Title #2: The One Thing I Would Change About This Wedding Process.

We invited approximately 177 people to our wedding. I say approximately because there were a couple of last minute add ons coughbytheMisterandhisfamilynotmecough that I don't think ever officially got on the list-list. They got an invite, but maybe weren't actually added to the Google doc that holds all the relevant guest info. Whatevs. Not my problem.

Anyway, I was a little nervous. I was initially hoping for 100 people, and then I decided that was unrealistic and bumped that number up to 120, maybe 130. I may have been that bride that opens up the RSVPs and wishes "Please, be a no!" But it turns out, people like us a freaking lot.

 Sally Field's "You Really Like Me" Speech / Image via Nina Spencer

There are ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY SOME PEOPLE coming to our wedding. Also known as a boatload.

Kinda Like This, 'Cept with People / Image via Just My Truth

Want a breakdown? Here it is!

In State Guests: 103 invited, 89 "yay, will be there!"s, 14 "no, will be squares" = 86% yays

Out of State Guests: 73 invited, 46 "yay, will be there!"s, 27 "no, will be squares" = 63% yays

Out of the Country Guest: 1 invited, 1 no = 0% yays

Us: 2. I kept forgetting to include us.

Professionals Who Might Get Hungry But Won't Necessarily Need a Chair: 7

Total Number of Peoples: 144. 177 invited, 144 coming, 81% yays!

Yay Freaking Indeed. OK, don't get me wrong. We chose to invite most of these people. We're not idiots. It's just a lot of people. And people as wedding guests are expensive. It will all be fine in the friendly end. It's just...a lot.

Other FUN Wedding RSVP Statistics. And I use the word "fun" completely ironically!!!

Didn't Respond by the Deadline: Approximately 30 people total. Despite Facebook and Gchat prompts, emails, calls, reminders, we have still not heard back from 4 people. Lame.

Responded But Didn't Put Their Name on the Invitation: ZERO. Forget the invisible ink, it was a waste of time.

Responded, Included Their Name, But Forgot to Check Yay or Nay: Two. Really?

People Coming Who Neither Me Nor the Mister Know: Too many, in my humble opinion. I'm not sure why I let those people get on the guest list in the first place. Actually, I do know. It was in the beginning stages of wedding planning when everything was hunky dory and I wasn't thinking about numbers or money and when people said "Oh, they won't come" I believed them.

If I could get with Cher and turn back time, this is the number one thing I would change about this entire wedding process. Not inviting people I don't know.

Is there anything you would change about the guest list, or anything else?

"You Are Not a Desk"

This is what my famous seamstress, Olga Samarskaya, told me. OK, she might only be famous to us North Carolina brides. Maybe a few South Carolina and Virginia brides too. She is legend.

I had three dress fittings total. Sorry, I haven't showed you my dress yet, because I am a bad blogger paranoid and have decided it's bad luck. Besides, it's almost my wedding day, and if I have held out this long, I can wait a few weeks more.

Anyway, on my second dress fitting, I noticed parts of the dress were not lying flat. So I asked Olga, "Will this be smoother when the dress is steamed?" She replied, "No, honey, you are not a desk." Except she said it with her thick Russian accent, and I was all "..........................what???"

 

Image via Amish Direct Furniture

So once I understood that she actually had declared that I am not a desk, I was like "Oh, uh huh, ok...wait, what?" And then she smacked my hips and said "You are woman, you have curves." Oh. Ok, well yeah, that makes sense.

 Image via Gothic 4 Weddings

Aside: Pippa's dress is actually not hanging perfectly flat, either (even in pics when she is standing still). Also, I wonder what type of shape wear she is wearing, and if she has something to fill out her butt? Because she is pretty thin so I don't know where that tush comes from....

I maybe had a meltdown on the way home, wishing I had brought someone with me to see the dress on me, wondering if my hips were too wide, or if my butt too big, or my back curved in too much, or what the deal was that prevented the gown from lying perfectly against me. Until I googled my dress and realized it was like that on everyone, and also, that it looked way better on me than on the stupid model.

Obviously.*

Some other gems Olga said to me were:

"Don't be afraid of the dress. It's just fabric, that is all." Good advice!

"Don't forget about the boob job, mmmkay?" She said this as I was walking out the door after my last fitting. I was all "Olga! You told me not to wear a bra!" and she said "Normally, I say that. You, you need a bra. Push them up. Do not forget." OK, Olga. I got it.

And finally...

"This is my cat, Ninja. His full name is Big Fat Ninja Kitty. He is a Japanese Bobtail, that's why he is a Ninja."

*I say "Obviously" because I am trying to pump myself up to rock this gown. My latest concern is that my butt is too small, and that's why I'm wondering if Pippa wore some butt shapers. I totally bet she did.

Was your seamstress experience full of any pearls of wisdom?