Cooking the Books

I may have mentioned once, twice, or a hundred times that I am not so hot with numbers, math, and especially money. I’m also not so organized, although I really, really wish I was.

Awhile ago, I wrote about some legitimate money saving techniques. That’s not what this post is about. This post is about cooking the books.

 Image via The Real Auditorz of Amazon

Here is a definition of "cooking the books" from Wikipedia: Creative accounting and earnings management are euphemisms referring to accounting practices that may follow the letter of the rules of standard accounting practices, but certainly deviate from the spirit of those rules. They are characterized by excessive complication and the use of novel ways of characterizing income, assets, or liabilities and the intent to influence readers towards the interpretations desired by the authors. The terms  "innovative" or  "aggressive" are also sometimes used.

Here are some tips on how to cook the books in a creative, novel, and innovative way for your own wedding budget!

 

1. If it’s a gift, it doesn’t count towards the overall wedding budget. Good rule, huh? So this past Christmas, I asked for twine in three colors. Mr. Magic thought “Wow, you are so strange” but he bought me the twine. And now it’s “free” and does not factor into the budget. Also, I just had a birthday, and I got some cash. I bought a dress for the rehearsal dinner…but since it was birthday money, it doesn’t count towards the wedding budget! Hooray!

2. “But I don’t buy things for myself anymore.” This rule works best if you were a big shopper BWP (Before Wedding Planning). If you went to Target every day and Nordstrom once a week. If you were addicted to designer jeans and fancy heels. If you got regular manicures and loved having lunch out. But now, since being engaged, you only buy things for the wedding. Milk glass. Spray adhesive. Card stock. Yarn. Wedding rings. Cake toppers.

You aren’t actually spending any more money than you did before! You’re just spending it on different things. And best of all, you are actually being so selfless to forgo your usual standard of living to finance this celebration of love and commitment. Pat yourself on the back, because you are awesome and so generous. 

 Image via Bridge and Tunnel Crowd

3. Lose the receipts. I hate to break it to you, but I am not one of those brides who can tell you exactly what each DIY project has cost me. I am not one to keep track of money or bring organized, remember, so keeping track of what I spent at the flea market on milk glass is not gonna happen. And if I don’t know…I can’t record it…and it doesn’t exist. This is pretty much the easiest tip because it just requires throwing paper away. Good times.

 Image via Young House Love

4. “Oh, that’s not part of the budget.” Sometimes people erroneously assume that because my dress is designer, our budget must be higher than it is. The fact is, my dress is not part of the budget. Why? Because I made up that rule, that’s why. I bought it with my own money, it’s all paid off, I love it, and it’s not part of the budget…just because I say so. I mean, after all, I’m the one in charge of the budget, so I can make up rules like this, right? Also, I never buy things for myself anymore. Also, I think I lost the receipt. Oops.

Are there ways you cook the books?