Expletive, Expletive, EXPLETIVE Tent

Insert your favorite expletives above.

I don't know what the %#@! problem is with tents. They are super pretty, right?

 

Image via Perfect Wedding Guide / Photo by Karla Fountain Photography

Image via The Merriment Blog

But for some reason, we are having a really, really difficult time conceptualizing this whole tent thing. Hence the use of multiple expletives...often.

I feel like this is a math problem that I am trying desperately to solve, but I can't because math is stupid and sucks. But I'm wondering if I maybe explain the problem to y'all, maybe one of you will be blessed with the intelligence, experience, and rational thinking skills that I seem to lack in response to this #^%$@! $#@!%^& tent problem.

Here's the situation. We have rented a place called The Barn at Valhalla. It consists of a structure referred to as a "barn," but it's not really a barn, and if you refer to it as such it will piss Mr. Magic off to no end. (I know, there's already a lot of factors in this problem, right?!?) This structure is not big enough to seat everyone for the reception.

How big is it, you [gutter minded girls] ask? Well, it's, like, this big...

Image via A Wedding Minister

Ok, fine, I'll give you some not exactly precise measurements in just a minute, but first, let me just explain that there is the inside part (see?) and an outside covered porch on either side (you can only see one of the covered sides above), and then an uncovered porch (that's it on the right side of the photo).

Image via Duffy Gilligan, Owner of The Barn at Valhalla

Note that the 50 x 30 for the Main Hall includes the space for kitchens and bathrooms. Below are my crappy diagrams where unusable space is blacked out. The first one is the sunny day plan.

We could also put a couple more tables on the dance floor and then break them down...but that seems like such a pain.

Here is the rain plan. 

 So, this one has all the guests seated in the tent. Dancing and stuff would be in the barn.

[Ugh, I feel so stressed just writing this blog post.]

Ok, so, we obviously need to rent a tent in case it rains, and probably a 40x60 tent (I have been advised that size is best, and that size is bigger than the one in the above rain plan). 

But, here's my big question. Do we just commit to using the tent rain or shine, as it will be more roomy and will give us more piece of mind...or do we use the tent only as a rain plan? If you are thinking the latter (which is somewhat more cost efficient...might save us 500-800$...which in the big scheme of things is like a drop in the bucket...might as well go ahead and rent some pink ponies while we're throwing this big huge freaking wedding...), let me tell you that first we put down a deposit, but then at most places we have to cancel the tent order one whole WEEK before to avoid paying the rest of the cost (we still lose our deposit). So, in some ways, it makes more sense just to spend the money, embrace the tent, have plenty of space and peace of mind.

What do you think we should do? And, what would you end the phrase "Expletive, Expletive, EXPLETIVE __________" with?

Vote:

Embrace the Tent. It will be Gorgeous!

Reserve a Tent but Listen to the Meteorologist a Week Before, They are Always Mostly Accurate

Elope. Wedding Planning is for the Birds.